Joan Vassos has already made a terrible mistake.

Joan Vassos may need an issue. She has been solid because the lead of The Golden Bachelorette, which premiered Wednesday. She’s lovely, completed, and eloquent. Her story of affection and loss is compelling; she was fortunately married for many years earlier than her husband died of pancreatic most cancers in 2021. She’s acquainted to followers of the franchise for her endearing look on The Golden Bachelor final 12 months, wherein she left the present early to look after her daughter, who was scuffling with postpartum melancholy.

Now, because the Golden Bachelorette, she will get one other shot at discovering love on tv. However she is likely to be damned from the beginning. Not one of the males vying for her hand stay wherever close to Rockville, Maryland, the place she resides, works as a college administrator, and has raised a household (that she clearly cares about!).

In fact, every of the 24 males who stepped out of the limo is aware of the place Vassos lives however has determined to take part anyway. Maybe they’re ready to depart their very own properties, their very own households, their very own lives to start out one thing new with Vassos. However … maybe they’re not.

On The Golden Bachelor, which ran final fall, main man Gerry Turner, a septuagenarian from Indiana, discovered love with Jersey Shore native Theresa Nist. Turner proposed, Nist accepted, and the 2 married in a televised marriage ceremony spectacular in January. However then they only saved dwelling in Indiana and New Jersey, respectively.

By April, TMZ reported, the 2 nonetheless weren’t dwelling collectively as a result of, effectively, uprooting many years’ value of life for somebody you’ve recognized for just a few months is tough, significantly when there are grandchildren concerned. “We’re advised they’ve every obtained their very own established properties of their respective states, and transferring every little thing into one pad can be time-consuming,” TMZ defined. “Theresa’s nonetheless working in NJ and has but to resolve what she’s going to do about her job as a compliance officer. Additionally, Gerry and Theresa are tremendous near their very own households, and our sources say transferring away from both can be troublesome for them.” Um, yeah!

Turner and Nist flirted with transferring to impartial territory—Charleston, South Carolina—and beginning life anew within the Palmetto State. However that imaginative and prescient by no means materialized. “We checked out properties in South Carolina, we thought of New Jersey, and we simply checked out properties after house, however we by no means obtained to the purpose the place we made that call,” Nist advised ABC Information when the pair went on Good Morning America to announce their Golden Divorce—or, as Slate editor-in-chief Hillary Frey put it, their breakup, as a result of might you even actually name it a wedding? This was solely avoidable, if solely they’d had a troublesome dialog earlier than they tied the knot. In spite of everything, Turner eradicated Religion Martin as a result of she made it to the ultimate 4 and principally advised him she wasn’t prepared to maneuver away from Washington state for him. Good for her, truthfully. The same dialog with Nist may need saved them each some bother.

However that’s the issue with relationship individuals who stay 1000’s of miles away. Even when they’re prepared to go on the present and discover love, they may not be prepared to depart their properties and lives for a brand new beau—particularly if they’re individuals who share your values of placing household first, as many contestants on the present say they do. That was a giant theme in the course of the premiere of The Golden Bachelorette. One contestant was ushered out of the limo by his daughter, Bachelor alum Kelsey Anderson. One other gifted Vassos a onesie for her grandkid that includes a slice of pizza, a sizzling canine, and the phrases Chicago Fashion. (Chicago … nowhere close to Rockville, Maryland!) There was even a really touching phase wherein the contestants’ youngsters left them video messages—tears ensued. It’s clear that Vassos is into guys who discover household necessary … however maybe not necessary sufficient that they wouldn’t be prepared to maneuver away from their household to be together with her?

She—and whoever chosen her suitors—is clearly not critically contemplating the logistical aftermath of the present. One contestant does stay in Maryland, albeit a two-hour drive away, on the state’s Japanese Shore. That might be workable, however … he was eradicated on Evening 1! No contestants reside within the D.C. space. The following closest suitor is close to Philadelphia. To ensure that Vassos and one in all these males to start out a life collectively, somebody might want to make a sacrifice, uproot their life, and transfer not less than a few hours away, however extra seemingly throughout the nation. As somebody who has moved to a number of unfamiliar states for a partner’s profession, I do know that it’s a giant sacrifice. However I additionally comprehend it’s one thing far simpler to do if you’re younger, if you don’t have a home or an in-person job, if you don’t have youngsters or many years and many years of inertia. What’s the hair salon proprietor in Chicago presupposed to do? Is the ER physician prepared to get a brand new job? What concerning the man who co-parents his youngsters with an ex? Is the man whose listed job title is simply “lady dad” going to have the ability to petition his bosses (his women) to maneuver their lives too?

As a contestant on The Golden Bachelor, Vassos garnered reward for her incapacity to compromise on the values she holds expensive. She refused to place her pursuit of Turner forward of her daughter’s want for love and luxury at a troublesome time. Throughout the premiere, one suitor advised Vassos that he would have made the very same determination. That’s superior. But when the entire finding-another-husband factor goes to work for Vassos, what she would possibly actually need is somebody who’s prepared to place her first, and his household second.