Freddie Flintoff has laid naked the bodily and emotional turmoil he has suffered within the wake of a near-fatal High Gear crash, admitting he “genuinely shouldn’t be right here”.

The previous cricketer was concerned in a horrifying accident whereas filming the motoring present in December 2022, which led to the BBC suspending manufacturing for the “foreseeable future”, saying it could be inappropriate to proceed.

In a brand new BBC documentary, Flintoff opens up in regards to the crash, which left him with facial accidents requiring surgical procedure, revealing for the primary time that he nonetheless suffers nightmares, flashbacks and nervousness.

“I genuinely shouldn’t be right here after what occurred,” he mentioned, revealing that he was unable to “simply shake it off” after the crash.

In scenes set to be proven on Freddie Flintoff’s Discipline of Desires on Tour later this month, Flintoff mentioned shortly after the accident: “I don’t wish to sit and really feel sorry for myself. I don’t need sympathy. I’m fighting my nervousness, I’ve nightmares, I’ve flashbacks – it’s been so exhausting to manage.

“However I’m pondering if I don’t do one thing, I’ll by no means go. I’ve obtained to get on with it.”

Freddie Flintoff’s Discipline of Desires sees the retired cricketer head to India to shoot with the Lancashire Cricket Academy, who’re on tour.

Within the collection, he describes his restoration as a “lengthy highway again”.

The documentary exhibits the previous Lancashire all-rounder in hospital shortly after the crash, the place he might be seen saying: “I need assistance, and I realise I’m not one of the best at asking for it. I must cease crying each two minutes.

“I’ve obtained to take a look at the positives, haven’t I? I’m nonetheless right here, I’ve obtained one other probability, I’ve obtained to go at it. I’m seeing that as how it’s, a second go.

“I’m actually wanting ahead to seeing the lads once more and being round them, I actually am.”

Talking about shifting previous the accident, Flintoff added: “As a lot as I wish to exit and do issues … I’ve simply not been capable of.”

The star goes on to say that he believes the crash has modified him perpetually. When requested if he’s feeling higher, he replies: “Probably not, I’m undecided I ever will once more to be sincere. I’m higher than I used to be.

“I don’t know what utterly higher is. I’m what I’m now, I’m completely different to what I used to be, that’s one thing I’ll should take care of for the remainder of my life. Higher, no, completely different.”

Within the episode, Flintoff’s former Lancashire teammate Kyle Hogg, who helps to teach the workforce, might be seen telling the gamers about his crash, and that their journey to India can be postponed.

Hogg says: “He simply wants a little bit of area in the meanwhile. After they began, Fred was there for everybody within the room, that is genuinely the time that you just lads are there for him.”

In a bit to digicam, he provides: “Fred’s accident is absolutely dangerous, he’s going to want quite a lot of restoration time, he’s fairly fortunate that he’s managed to get by it alive.”

Because the crash, Flintoff has agreed to a monetary settlement with the company’s industrial department, BBC Studios, price £9m.